Clean-up

50 by 50. It's difficult at first, but you eventually pick up momentum. You glance through the subject headings just to be sure it's nothing important. But if it's dated 2 years ago, it probably wouldn't be relevant anyway.

--
FOP. Those were exciting times. Emails bounced back and forth; everyone struggling towards the same goal. Friendships would be built. I would cautiously but surely begin to move further and further out of my comfort zone.


*delete*


RC. Those days where everything was settled without our knowledge; yet, we were asked to contribute. It was a difficult struggle trying to appease all that anger. But things eventually would work out. Or at least, the sentiments would have simmered down.

*delete*

CIR. That strange part of your life which sticks out. Political science just doesn't fit the general flow of my interests -- outdoors/ecology/community stuff. Yet, if anything, it was probably an amazing mistake. Exposure to different, very bright and amazing people. *delete scroll (repeat)*... wondering where it all began to go wrong.


*delete*


NVVN. Random little snippets appear, but I was never really a part of it. I'm sure it would have been fun though...


*delete*


LAB (Legal Aid Bureau). Still the biggest part of my life -- sadly. I tried so hard to be angry because everyone around me thought that I was otherwise being irresponsible. Was that when my worldview changed? Or perhaps more importantly, is there any way back from that?


*delete*


SERC. Would have completed the storybook notion of a thorough and complete "get-away". But it was not to be, and it was probably good that it didn't work out. After all, it's easy to romanticise events in your life and make yourself out to be better than you really are. Not getting the internship was a good reminder that there is a reality I still needed to face and that I needed to fit back into it.


*delete*


Occasional chat logs appear. Was I being too quiet about my circumstances, pretending to be stronger than I really was? Or was I handling it perfectly well by not unnecessarily drawing attention to myself? I did talk to people... I did.

*delete*
 --

And so, 500 emails are left. I just about stopped where my TMSI internship begins. Everything else seems to have fallen away. I took a break; a pretty long break. It doesn't feel like anyone waited for me. I'm no longer sure where I fit in anymore... and I probably should not be presumptuous about it.


But perhaps, it's all for the better? *shrugs*