How long?

How long before love expires?
How long before hope is allowed to fail?
How long before commitment becomes foolishness?

Intellect

I suspect that, if not for YHWH keeping me in check, I would have snapped a long time ago. I did not see a purpose in life, for our ultimate end is death. Perhaps, I had accidentally allowed myself to slip into the writings of Aristotle. He postulated that the ultimate goal of every human is to achieve happiness. His argument is pretty tedious -- for he hails from a period where the Old Rhetoric was the rule of all literature -- but nevertheless highly logical.

In essence, what he implied was that we ought to be living for the moment. Whatever made us happy ought to be pursued with unrelenting fervour. And in this aspect, I was failing miserably. The concept that life is defined by the moment, albeit logical, seemed highly unsatisfying. There had to be something more. Understandably, I flailed around for a long time, lost.

It never occurred to me that Aristotle's opinions were just that: opinions. It was not that I took him to be a dictator of lifestyle. It was, rather, the logic behind his essay that fooled unsuspecting me into readily accepting.

Realising that, I took a while but eventually realised that there were eternal consequences to our little actions now. There is a vested interest for our descendants in caring for the environment, however unsatisfying it may be now. There is a vested interest for our soul in striving for righteousness, however hard the struggle now. There was purpose to life: purpose that extended beyond mere instantaneous happiness.

And ultimately, the only fault lay in leaving intellect to roam unrestrained. Intellect must be balanced by huge doses of friendship and emotional exposure. It must be constantly jolted back to reality from models conjured up by the mind.

Intellect: highly dangerous.
Peer guidance advised.

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Ultimately, we may seek to change the world.
Often to no avail.
For we are just one person,
Amidst billions of others.

You may work your way to power,
Then proclaim great promises.
Plans to grant more funds to the poor,
To channel more money into green technology.
And then, after the applause,
You retire back home.
Leather sofas, woollen jackets, the bath left to fill in the other corner of the house...
Things may happen, but all is a show.

Ultimately, we may seek to change the world.
But we must do it person by person.
Lead by example, and pay it forward.

As for me,
I'd be fulfilled.
If even one sweet memory you hold dear
Involved me.

For the only dream I ever dared to dream
Is not of passion or longing.
But of pure, unadulterated love.
One that does not need reciprocation.
One that melts whenever you smile.