Results post-mortem

So, why did you do so badly for your A levels?


To be honest, I do not know. I can offer up an incredulous number of reasons, but all of it would not change the fact that I did poorly.

Firstly, I had medical issues. I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, and this came shortly after the doctors had discovered an irregularity in my heart. The effect was not physical as much as it was psychological. The feeling is a bit confusing to explain. Here was a supposedly healthy boy, dreaming that the only barrier to fitness was all in the mind. Suddenly, he is told that he can never break past the barrier. The effect is very confidence-bashing.


So your issue was that you were not resilient enough.


Sir, you must understand. I was popping pills on a daily basis. And at that time, I was not making tremendous breakthroughs in my forays into the academics. All that kept me on par with my peers was my fitness level. That too, had just been snatched away.


So the problem, it seems, started even before this medical setback that you have mentioned.


There were other issues too. I had been too earnest in attending lectures and tutorials. You see, sir, the true role of a school-goer is clearly to attend lessons. That is all that is required of us. It is the least respect that we could give to our teachers. Whether we eventually get the A or not, the teacher is not held responsible. Whether you fall asleep in class or not, what matters is that you have the discipline to force yourself to class. It seemed, though, that I was condemned for trying to please. Initially, I was endlessly reprimanded. Eventually, the atmosphere became one of condemnation: the teachers could no longer bother with me. That was a lot worse.


You fell asleep in class? So where does "I worked very hard" come in?


I live a good hour away from school. I stayed back to study into the late nights, attempting to catch up. And the more I tried to study, the later awake I stayed, the less sleep I received, the more tired I became the next day at school, the more I had to study to catch up. Clearly, the solution would be to have skipped classes more often.


And what about tuition?


While it is true that my family was not strapped for cash, it is also true that my parents often complained about their lack of liquidity. And we were still in debt, having not paid off housing as well as the car loans. Tuition was expensive, and I trusted the teachers. It was very foolish, thinking back. I should not have blindly held on to values that were more fashionable in past times. I ought to have been more self-centred, for lack of a better word.


Well, I am sure that you have pretty much to say. But, as you have mentioned, nothing changes the fact. You can make people sympathise with you not getting to drink your milk. Still, spilled milk is still spilled. That can never change. Thank you for your time. I do sincerely wish you all the best in your future endeavours.