Grar!

I've screwed my life up.
No, really.
Hardly anyone reads this blog,
So this shouldn't count as a publicity act.
Everyone studies harder than I do.
I cannot seem to break into that spirit.
Don't even start on the flaws of education:
It's just a lame excuse.
I go around and see people:

Scholars driving taxis,
Poor people wallowing in their plight,
Rich people hoping for a better life.
A simpler life, as they call it.

I like the outdoors,
But my studies suffer.

I don't know.
This stinks.

I keep trying to be sophisticated.
A great, misunderstood thinker:
A facade that explains all my flaws.
A mask that deceived even me.

I am nothing.
There's nothing good about me.
I am no friend.
I cannot help them when they need.

Optimism is a strange, escapist view of the world.
But it works.
I messed up. I hope I can turn back.