About Friends...

It's begun to nag at me,
Suggesting that I am a nuisance.
When I speak, it's with a tone of smug-ness:
Of pride.

Have I brought worldly competition into "friendship"?
Are my "friends" comparison-figures
Or people who share an emotional bond?

I wish it was the latter,
But then, I don't know.
My ideals and my reality are at conflict.

I don't know the extent of friendship one can have.
Too much open-ness, and we are calling for pity;
Too little, and we are cold.

I guess that's why I close up.
That's probably why I speak weird --
I am unfamiliar with direct contact.

Even now, I detect exaggerated feelings.
I don't know
How to be me with my friends.

But trust me:
Although I am seemingly indifferent,
You have impacted me deeply.