Change...

And so, at this crucial juncture in my life, I have begun on the arduous road of recollection. 18 years are soon to have slipped from my life, and with it, I probably only have 3 more such times to live. So when I look ahead, it seems a very long road to walk. Yet, the one-quarter of this journey that is behind seems disproportionately short compared to the next 18 years or so.

The past is gone, I cannot live it again. Everything happened in the past, and the present is but just a fleeting moment that transitions the past to the future.

I feel wrong, having left so many friends behind in time, lost in my memory. For each friend recalled, I remember the memories, or "the good old days," as they call it. But it is over. Period: your story ends. It is archived on dusty old shelves too full to sort out. It is lost, stored in memory only as a formality.

But why must there be separation?

I have only managed to arrive at 2 plausible conclusions. Firstly, it is a way of life. Secondly, it is because this "way of life" is best travelled without emotions and irrational feelings. The first conclusion bears truth, but is vague, for the way of life that is mentioned has been stained with societal guidelines and regulations. In essence, then, both conclusions are one and the same.

And so, without much further ado, separation is enforced to break our hopes of a happy, close-knit group of acquaintances. In this world that seeks to add a tangible quantity to everything, emotions are the exceptions that must hence be suppressed and hidden so that the current system of quantification remains unchallenged.

Students are fooled into learning how to make friends: how to share, how to care. And this already occurs at the young age of pre-schoolers. Later, when this begins to take effect, they are swiftly and cruelly snatched from each other and thrust into an entirely new environment that is primary school. In this manner, students gradually come to the realisation that nothing is constant in this world, and friendships only serve to pile up as backlogged memories and regrets. In time, we will learn to live without friends, turning only to academics for solace.

Are we then looking for a small group of confidantes or a large group of acquaintances -- strategic alliances, if you must? For me, I prefer the former, and the constant separation continually shatters this quest.

Disappoint

I feel it:
I have disappointed many.

But I do nothing about it,
And I hate that.