CFC

So it is just an arbitrary rank -- meaningless; impractical. 2 pieces of cloth, a fleeting record in the soon-to-be-forgotten archives, a slight increase in allowance for a couple of months -- that is perhaps all there is to be gained. Why then do you hanker so longingly after it?

Perhaps it is for the recognition. For all the times that I spent beyond what was required, was I never better than some of the others; or perhaps even close to being equal? That I still busy myself with work so close to being released from service, does that not count as certain commitment and loyalty that few could really be said to similarly have expressed?

Perhaps, it really matters to me that I will forever only be second-best: CPL.