Great Expectations

I am sometimes stunned at the way you approach relationships. You expect people to return to you the same sort of attention you give to them. Which then begs the question of what your original motivation was. When you write letters, is it truly to express appreciation for the other or is it a subtle plea for attention?

I have seen the way you try to expect nothing, and I must applaud your awareness of altruistic values. Still, there are times when you do express frustration at unanswered messages, and it is at times like these that I shake my head sadly. Really, Jerome, have you never not ignored an email or instant message? Surely you jest the friend who took the effort to communicate. But there was no ill-intention, you say? Then your interpretation into the apparent indifference of your friends surely carry things beyond what they really are.

But your desire for communication, does it not prove your claim that you treasure the friend? And the incessant hope for reciprocation -- albeit childish and a tad mercenaric -- underlines the humanity that is you. You can almost instantly set up impenetrable barriers, clinging desperately to the heroism of unrecognition of your efforts. No one will be able to read your mind. No one reads everything like a literature text, sensing for nuanced tones and attitudes. No one. So if you never risk it, who will ever know?

Of course, you could probably write it out in a blog post and expect that word of it will spread. Like you always do. Although it reeks deeply of cowardice and detachment from the world, I do not think Shakespeare ever intended his plays to bring such terror to many innocent schoolchildren everywhere either. At least it is nothing immorally or lawfully improper. And if it helps you feel better too, why not?

So, the conclusion of the matter is this. Your friends probably appreciate what you do for them. There is no obligation for them to reciprocate. Any such obligation spoils the entire sweetness of the initial act. So do not expect any. Take pride in the hope that you made them smile. Few can ever stake claim to having done something special for a friend they so greatly treasure. Count yourself privileged to be amongst them.